Can someone please tell me how size 0 snuck its way back into our collective consciousness?
I thought we were making progress. Body neutrality was trending. We were (sort of) embracing stretch marks, soft bellies, and the idea that maybe—just maybe—our worth isn’t measured by the number on the scale. Even dad bods had their moment, back in 2015—and I’m not even straight!
But lately, something’s shifted. Thin is back, ultra-thin. Quiet luxury aesthetics, trending unrealistic “What I Eat in a Day” TikToks, and nostalgia for ‘90s runway models are all whispering the same tired message: small is better.
But is it?!
Smaller doesn’t always mean healthier, happier, or more whole. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, an estimated 8.6% of females and 4.1% of males will experience an eating disorder in their lifetime—rates that rise significantly among those facing racial or ethnic discrimination or identifying as 2SLGBTQIA+. These cultural pressures aren’t random; they’re manufactured and marketed to us daily.
Individual factors like gender identity, cultural background, neurodivergence, and self-confidence interact with societal pressures—especially media-driven ideals—to distort how we see our bodies. Body weight distortion—the gap between how our bodies actually look and how we perceive them—is common and fuels dissatisfaction, often leading to restrictive behaviours. This not only impacts mental health but can cause serious health issues like hormonal imbalances, compromised heart function, and bone density loss. The size 0 ideal isn’t just exhausting to maintain—it’s slowly harming us from within.
When pressure to be thin chips away at our self-view, we begin to lose sight of what makes us lovable and capable. We magnify flaws and minimize our unique beauty. Disowning parts of ourselves cuts us off from our personal power. From a young age, many of us are told we’re not good enough.
We get stuck chasing an impossible ideal. Our thoughts become consumed by calories and self-judgment, instead of what truly brings us joy.
When pressure to be thin chips away at our self-view, we begin to lose sight of what makes us lovable and capable. We magnify flaws and minimize our unique beauty. Disowning parts of ourselves cuts us off from our personal power. From a young age, many of us are told we’re not good enough. We get stuck chasing an impossible ideal. Our thoughts become consumed by calories and self-judgment, instead of what truly brings us joy.
When you look back on your life, what will matter more—your appearance or the moments, people, and joy you shared?
Shame Thrives in Perfectionism
It’s okay if looking back at photos makes you fixate on your appearance. Perfectionism doesn’t arise from nowhere—it’s driven by capitalism’s push for achievement and looking the part: no stretch marks, no softness. Then we get stuck in cycles of procrastination, rigid thinking, feeling not good enough, and struggling to move forward.
But here’s the thing: you don’t need to abandon high standards—you just need to include imperfections as part of the process.
Shift from “I’m not good enough” to “I can be better.” Truly knowing ourselves means understanding our strengths and weaknesses across different situations. Every trait we possess can either be beneficial or detrimental depending on the context.
I joke with clients about an “ideal” version of ourselves—the one with perfect skin and high school clothes that still fit— running around in our heads making us look bad. Rather than being intimidated by this ideal, we can reclaim the goals, dreams, and aspirations that this version holds. We can continue to believe that we can, without a doubt, achieve what we set out to do because there’s something there that holds value for ourselves.
However, we must accept the uncomfortable reality of imperfection. Setbacks are inevitable as we move through life. I like to think of it like a forest path: the cleared path feels easier because we’ve traveled it many times. Trying something new takes more effort because the path isn’t cleared yet. Setbacks are just your brain saying, “We’re tired today, let’s take the familiar route”; not proof of failure.
If negative thoughts or doubts arise, know it’s normal. You don’t have to force yourself to believe what’s untrue. We all have off days, and that’s okay. Instead of letting self-criticism take over, try building a more realistic view of yourself.
Shift your focus from chasing a “summer body” to appreciating the real effort you are making to nurture your body. Notice moments of satisfaction in what you do.
The real change comes from focusing on what’s in your control—where you can make an impact and choose where to put your energy.
Enter Radical Acceptance
Radical acceptance is a nonjudgmental way of acknowledging ourselves. It doesn’t mean we have to agree with or even like what we see in the mirror. It means we stop waging war against it. We let go of the belief that self-worth must be earned through effort, perfection, or constant improvement. Something I often come across in my work is the belief that we just need to try harder. But this is a limiting and often unhelpful way to understand the situation.
Psychologist Carl Rogers famously said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.”
Radical acceptance is about recognizing reality—not to give up, but to become a more effective, flexible problem solver. If we can turn toward the parts of ourselves we’ve learned to reject and make space for them—including the parts of our bodies society tells us to hide or “fix”—then we can begin to relate to ourselves with more compassion and less urgency about being “better.” From that place, we can start to care about our needs, desires, well-being, and goals—not because we’re broken, but because we matter. This isn’t selfish. It’s the foundation for a life that feels more meaningful and fulfilling.
Simple Ways to Practice Radical Acceptance
Remember your worth isn’t earned by perfection or productivity.
Be present with your feelings without rushing to change them.
Focus on what’s within your control, even if it’s small.
Don’t judge where you are—you’re allowed to be a work in progress.
Let go of what’s not yours to carry to make space for what matters.
Ease bodily tension with breath or gentle movement.
Slow down—rest and pause, answers will come.
Zoom out to see the bigger picture and missing context.
Replace “I should” with kinder self-talk to ease pressure.
Embrace messy, non-linear growth—setbacks are part of learning.
Confidence, Compassion, and the Courage to Believe You Are Enough
If you want to stop being your own harshest critic and start cheering yourself on, learning self-compassion is key. Self-compassion has three important parts: kindness, a sense of shared humanity, and mindfulness.
Kindness isn’t just about being ‘nice’—it’s about being patient with all parts of yourself, even the ones you don’t like. It’s about pausing to comfort yourself and reminding yourself that your feelings matter. It means treating your setbacks with care, not harsh judgment.
Shared humanity means realizing that everyone struggles and acts in ways they later regret.
These things are part of being human. Your flaws aren’t just personal failures—they’re shaped
by your life experiences, just like those of everyone else. This includes how we see our bodies
and compare ourselves to others—knowing we’re not alone lightens the burden.
Mindfulness is about noticing what’s happening right now—your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations—without trying to push them away or judge them. Especially around body image, mindfulness means noticing discomfort or shame without turning away from it.
To show yourself compassion, you first have to notice when you are hurting. That part often gets missed because we’re so focused on what feels “wrong.” Self-compassion helps us stay with hard moments instead of turning away. When we respond with care, not criticism, we start to believe we’re worth supporting—and that builds real confidence.
Every time we step out of our comfort zones, we grow and prove we can do hard things. It can feel scary at times, but confidence is about finding the courage to live with that fear while you pursue what truly matters to you. This includes learning to lean into the effort you are making and having your own back even if you fail. It’s about pushing just far enough beyond comfort to achieve personal growth.
Confidence alone isn’t the whole story. At the heart of true self-acceptance is learning to value yourself unconditionally. You cannot hate yourself into a version that you love. In order to love yourself, you have to value yourself and believe that you have worth—especially in a world that often judges us by how we look.
Self-worth has two important sides: one is the inherent value you have simply by being you, and the other is the value that comes from your actions, skills, and contributions. You are worthy just for existing—no matter your appearance, weight, or how you fit society’s ideals. At the same time, using your strengths to make a positive impact can boost your confidence and deepen your sense of purpose beyond any external judgments.
Key elements that build this sense of worth include: trusting how you feel rather than how you look, feeling secure in yourself beyond shifting body standards, having a clear identity independent of outside expectations, and believing in your ability to meet challenges on your own terms. Feeling connected and accepted for your whole self also plays a vital role.
Developing these elements involves:
- Recognizing and owning your strengths honestly, which builds confidence not tied to appearance.
- Maintaining healthy relationships where you are valued for who you are, not just how you look. Setting realistic, supportive goals that nurture well-being rather than perfectionism. Listening to and honouring your emotional and physical needs, whether for rest, nourishment, or self-care.
- Practicing patience with yourself, understanding that growth takes time and happens at your own pace.
You Are Not Alone
If body image or eating concerns feel overwhelming, support is available. Providence Health Care’s Provincial Adult Tertiary & Specialized Eating Disorders Program at St. Paul’s Hospital in Vancouver offers treatment for adults 17+ with eating disorders. Beyond clinical care, connecting with compassionate communities—friends, family, or peer groups—helps you feel seen and supported. Healing begins with connection. Remember, your worth is defined by who you are, not by a number on a scale.
Mental health with Jillian Bagan
Jillian Bagan (she/they) is a contributing writer to Bored In Vancouver. Jillian is committed to supporting clients with compassion, focusing on their strengths, goals, and abilities. They foster a collaborative, safe space where clients feel empowered to trust their intuition, find solutions, and achieve growth and healing through Art Therapy.
